My son's eyeball

I have a consistant history of horrible dreams about my children-- accidentally hurting them, watching myself purposefully hurt them, generally harming them, etc...

In my dream last night, the yoga instructor was super pissed off at me. I was always late to yoga. She closely resembled the demonic succubus cow-head lady from True Blood (great series). She was talking down to me. She wanted me to sit in the corner and recite something embarrassing in front of the whole class. I was pissed off. I screamed at her. It wasn't even my fault I was late this time. I had stopped at the outdoor coffee shop halfway up the hill, on the way up to the ruins where yoga class was held. The clock at the outdoor coffee shop said it was only 6:30. Yoga didn't start until 7:30. I don't know if it was morning or night. It wasn't my fault. Two clocks had said it was 6:30, although I did rush up the hill really early (according to the two clocks) because I had a feeling they were wrong. Why did I think that, I wonder.

I was really pissed off. I don't remember much between me screaming at the yoga instructor and me holding my son. I tripped while holding him and lost him. I was already pissed off for being such a f###-up. I remember being terrified about what people would think about me as I watched my son roll off the cliff. He slid down the mountain side. I dove after him, not sure what the plan was. I slid down the hill, missed him. Somehow, he came to a stop on the steep hill-face. I slid past him, trying to grab him, but missed. I groped at vines about 30 feet below him, stopping myself, saving myself. I clambered up. I couldn't get to him. For some reason, I think he may have gotten to safety (slid down or something), but he had lost an eyeball. I had to get it for him. I was pathetic, slipping and sliding on the muddy face of this cliff. I don't remember how this turned out.

* * *

Somehow I was in a blocked off city. Nobody escaped, nobody got in. Some people had huge guns. We were trying to survive. I shot some people in the face. They laughed at me. How impotent I felt. I think I may have spoken to one of them...