Sunday, September 27, 2009

I have invented a game

Games are a wonderful bonding experience. They encourage people to let go of their reservations, their self-control, their social protocol, and often encourage them to act out on their emotions. I have invented a new game.
In my game, one team is in charge of the balloon, which behaves like one of those 'day-after-the-party' balloons. It doesn't exactly float, but it doesn't fall fast. When hit up, it will hover. It is very easy to keep it up, if that is your goal. Keeping it up is the goal of the first team. They can hold it, hit it in the air, and pass it around the room.
The other team carries some sort of slashing or stabbing instrument. It could be a dagger or a knife. A cheap alternative is box cutters, exacto-knives, or straight razors.
Gameplay is simple. One team protects the balloon, and the other team tries to pop it.
After a few minutes, the balloon should be pretty slippery with sweat and blood. This is when it gets interesting/ comical. Gameplay should be stopped if anybody hits a vein or artery. Get it wrapped up, take a few minutes, cauterize if necessary, and get back into it. Watch your co-workers turn into primates. Feel the heat of one another's blood on your skin and bond like only brothers in battle were previously given the opportunity to. Office managers, watch from the sidelines and analyze how certain characters target one another. This is a quick and cheap method of finding out how your team is working together, who should be promoted, who should be transfered, etc. Your only other method is to ask people to tell you honestly how the office vibes are going, and they would have to be an idiot to tell the truth.

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